Moshpitters - The Spawn Of Satan

Written by Tommy, September 2006

ome of you out there should really just fuck off and die. Really. Who are these people, you might wonder? Mentally challenged moshpitters, that's who.

hen I am not talking about those that are executing and participating in an organised and civilised moshpit in a circle in front of the stage during parts of a song that justify that behaviour, because that is totally ok and even encouraged by me. No, I am referring to you complete losers who, without sense and reason and during whole concerts, are running from side to side, up and down, over an as big area as you can, smashing and thrashing into as many innocent attenders as possible. We don't want to participate in your retarded ritual, you fucking idiots. That's why we choose to position ourselves a bit on the side of all this.

any are the concerts where half or more of it has been completely ruined due to the fact that all strength and attention have been used to avoid the attacks of these numbskulls. And then I have even done what I can to avoid it in the first place: placing myself to the far left, the far right, far back, you name it. It is all in vain, because you brainless creatures manage to find and intimidate me regardless.

oone wants you around. You are like a virus in the metal community and everyone just want to get rid of you but unfortunatly that seem like a futile task. I don't really understand what you are doing there in the first place since you are clearly not interested in the music. Impersonating a neanderthal seems immensely more important and I don't think you even know or care who is playing anyway.

on't be surprised if you sooner or later receive a fist or two in your face by an innocent bystander and have to terminate the concert prematurely. Once again, because it can not be said too often: fuck you. And I hope you die in a hotel fire....

(Footnote: I feel that a gold star must be handed out to the band Devildriver for their behaviour during a concert with them I attended this summer. The singer decided, before a very mosh friendly song started, to split the audience and make a big ass circle in the middle exclusivly for the moshers so others would not be bothered. An honorable initiative.)

Tommy - September 2006